Growing Up

The weekend before Emma's first birthday, I'm going away for a weekend retreat with my girls group. It'll be my first time away (for the night) from Emma and so of course, I've been planning out things I need to prepare ahead of time. One of the things I've been processing is when to stop breastfeeding her. (For any guys reading, you may just want to stop here...the rest is about nursing and gets pretty sentimental so you probably won't enjoy it! ha!)  For a while, I tried to pump bottles to leave for her, but then I realized that if I keep nursing her up until the trip, then I'd have to pack my pump and do that while I'm there. yuck yuck no thanks. So, about a week ago, I started to wean Emma. Since I've never done this before, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect out of the process. I wanted to give both of us plenty of time before my retreat to get adjusted so I decided to give it a month. So this past week, I cut back to only nursing her twice a day: in the morning and at bedtime and replacing her naptime feedings with milk. (don't tell the pediatrician, but she's almost a year and formula prices are outrageous and we're strapped for cash and I promise I'm not a horrible mommy)  Surprisingly we both have done REALLY well! She's drinking the bottles without a fuss, actually drinking more than I expected and I'm feeling great! So now that we've done that for a week, I decided to drop down to one feeding a day. I could tell my body was really adjusting quickly and wasn't having trouble with it so I decided to do something that I don't think I'll ever regret.

I can't tell you how fast this (almost) year has gone by. I can hardly remember the tiny 5lb baby we brought home from the hospital!! I have really enjoyed being able to nurse Emma...it's indescribable knowing that you and you alone are sustaining and nurturing a life. It's such a miracle! I wanted to do something special to remember this season of our life. So tonight, while Daddy was out working and we had the house to ourselves, I took full advantage of the quiet. After our usual bath/bedtime routine, I put on some soft lullabies, dimmed the lights, and settled into the rocking chair I used when she was a newborn. I sang over her, prayed over her and adored my little girl while she nursed. She fell asleep in my arms, which she hasn't done in a long long time and I couldn't stop thanking Jesus for this precious time together. It was bittersweet; I'm so excited to see her grow and develop into an adorable little toddler, but I will miss those newborn days so much! I felt like crying out, 'she's growing up too fast God!' The LORD sweetly reminded me that I will be able to continue to "nurse" her for the rest of her life....I will nurse her boo boos, nurse her first broken heart, nurse her back to health when she's sick, and feed her Truth for all the days of her life. Tonight probably wasn't the very last time I'll nurse my sweet girl, but I am so glad to have this incredible memory to look back on and remember. I would HIGHLY recommend doing this to any nursing Momma out there. You WON'T regret it!